It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
