Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i wish my penis had a tongue
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
