My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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