they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
