we're blogging at a bar
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Randomize
