why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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