i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
