called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
They have beer where we have blood.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
