I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
