He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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