Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
