I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Randomize
