There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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