I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
