I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
