My first STD was from a foam party
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
