Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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