Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
