i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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