he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
