the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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