my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
