Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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