I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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