You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
