piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Randomize
