I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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