Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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