You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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