Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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