They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
