some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
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