Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
