I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize