you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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