Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
