Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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