I CAN MOONWALK!
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Can I color on your dick again?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
