even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Randomize
