so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
