I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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