Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
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