"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
