I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
