What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
why do cheetos always look like penises
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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