careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
