Have you finally orgasmed yet?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
