Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
