I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize
