i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
